Do You Need Them Now?

As I touched them,
Those 5-Rupee-Coins
10-Rupee-Coins
2-Rupee-Coins
1-Rupee-Coins..

That he had kept in the coins' pocket
Of his brown wallet
With the hope of touching them
The next day
For paying a parking fee
Or giving some change
To a shopkeeper

The coins the he did not touch
Ever again
The coins, gathering rust, over
The last fifteen months,
As the wallet gathered fungus
At one corner of his briefcase..

The stack of Visiting Cards
Stating his qualification
And position
In another pocket..

I touched those hopes
Of his
As I touched them
As I took them out..

Keeping the coins
In front of his picture,
I said to him,
You might need these, Baba,
You are traveling far..
Do they accept these coins there?

Rubbing the Visiting Cards
In my palms
I try to feel his fingers
When he last took one out
And made his presence felt..

Trying to feel the hope
With which he had kept
That stack back in the wallet
Never knowing that
He would never touch them again..

I keep them in a shelf..
Shelved.. the cards get..
As he needs no introduction
To the world
To which he has traveled..

How I remember Rath from my childhood days..

Baba used to buy 2-storied chariots for us even when we were too small to draw those.. He used to get scolded by Ma to which he turned a deaf ear and kept buying them every year.. While returning from school, Ma would buy those light colored papers with which she would diligently decorate the chariot throughout the afternoon, before the small idols of Jagannath Balaram and Subhadra would be put inside and we would flaunt our chariots in the evening.. The idols would topple over every moment, and we would stop and take them up constantly.. As we grew older, Ma could finally put a stop to Baba's buying of chariots.. She would re-paint the previous year's "Rath" and decorate it so meticulously that it would be hard to tell that it was an old one! The last Rath that I remember drawing the chariot with my paRa-mates almost turned into a ruthless chariot race! And the last time I remember drawing a chariot ever was with the 3-year-old Aneek (Bapuji's brother), throughout the evening..

Do children these days draw chariots? Do they have the same leap in their hearts while buying the papers that I had? Do they love Ratha Yatra like we did? Do parents still buy Rath for their kids?

We lived in Dhakuria from 1978 to 1984. There used to be an elaborate and "huge" (to a child's standards) Rath-er Mela along the Dhakuria Bridge. It was a must-visit for us. I remember Baba-Ma taking us to that Mela every year and I have distinct memories of the things bought from there. We still have the beautiful Ma Kaali face bought from one of the Krishnanagar sellers. Till a few years back, we also had the Mahadev face and a pair of black Bankura Horses. I still remember the excitement and happiness of my then young parents involved in those purchases. They were never tired to roam around and take us with them. I remember Baba having a fascination for the various-sized almost-transparent glass birds in different colors. I remember him buying red pairs and blue pairs, the blue ones being big and regal. They were put over the fridge. I remember Ma's repeated warnings that we should never go near them. But, I remember Baba buying them almost every year, and I have never seen any of those pairs for long. I am sure they never remained unbroken with kids in the house. The miniature cooking sets, wardrobes, and beds bought for me from these Mela-s were my favorites!

I have visited many-a- Rather Mela after growing up. But, never ever have I felt that same excitement and happiness that oozed from our parents to us when we visited the Dhakuria Mela, a 2-minute walk from our then home.

Life's Strangeness

Prithiviraj Dasgupta was the 2nd visitor to our home who came to pay respect to Baba on the morning of Baba's Shraddh on June 30. He spread the garland, paid his homage, sat for a few minutes and left. Just as I watched him leave, I realized something strange.. a very very strange fact! Baba had attended Prithiviraj's annoprashon (first rice-eating ceremony held at 6 months of a child's age) in 1977 and Prithiviraj attended Baba's Shraddh in 2015, never having met each other on any instance during their entire life-spans. I did not get to dwell on this realization as visitors trickled in.

Today, as Ma and I were sitting at their place, Apala Dasgupta mentioned that Prithiviraj had a realization this morning. As Prithiviraj spoke, I found myself listening to what I had realized on the morning of Baba's Shraddh. Even Prithiviraj and Apala were as amazed as I was to see this strangeness.. Baba, as an architect employed in Kothari Associates, getting invited by developer Prabir Gupta for his first child's Annoprashon (cherishing the beginning of his child's life), a visit and treat Baba clearly remembered and spoke about (around 2009) due to the hugeness of the "lyangcha" that got served on that occasion.. and Prithiviraj having become and stayed my friend under the most unexpected and unusual of circumstances, attending Baba's Shraddh (marking the end of Baba's life on earth). It is stranger, that although Baba had met Apala on a couple of occasions when she visited our house, and Prithiviraj had visited our house around 2009-2011 on a couple of evenings when he had met Ma, Buro and Sayari, Baba and Prithiviraj had never met each other!

"We get only that much that we are supposed to get. Only that much happens that is supposed to happen." Prithiviraj summed up.

I will see him there..

It was November 1989.. Jethu was visiting.. Our half-yearly examinations were just over.. Calcutta was exercising its voting rights that day and the city was practically enjoying a holiday.. We had gone out with Jethu, had our first Metro-rail ride, and then went to Princep Ghat where we enjoyed a boat ride.. It was a beautiful day and the memories are still so fresh! Miss those days!!

This is one of the pics with which we have made a couple of framed collages.. after Baba left us on June 20, 2015. 

We are physically not with him on this ride that he has embarked upon. But are we not with him every moment?  Is he not with us every moment? 

On the night of June 20, after his mortal body had reduced to a handful of ashes and bones, we went to this same place, to an adjacent bank of this same river, to immerse his last physical remains. On the morning of June 29, the penultimate day of the last rites, we again visited the same place to perform the rituals of offering him food, sweets, and water while he travels to his last destination. As the rituals needed, my brother and I gave rice, water, and milk to the crows who are believed to carry the food to him while he journeys to reach the spiritual world..  

Somehow, all these merges in my mind and this picture gives me goosebumps. I think Baba is there on the Ganges under the vast sky, sailing on this boat, a little ahead of all of us.. I feel I will see him whenever I visit the river-bank.. He will stand in this same manner on this same boat, eternally, looking towards the horizon.. as we sit behind him, looking up to him .. 

Thamma, Mago, Fu-Thamma with Robi Thakur

L-R: Thamma (with her famous two braids) on the picture's right of Rabindranath, Mago, and Fu-Thamma (the twins)

Tagore had visited the Scottish Church Collegiate School of which Thamma's elder sisters (Bijoya and Kamala, not Mago and Fu-Thamma) were ex-students at that time.. The powerful elder sisters had arranged for Thamma to perform dance in front of Tagore, even though Thamma was not a student of Scottish Church at that time.  

Thamma with her father, Mammusona, and siblings

Thamma, the youngest of the 8 children, in her father's lap.. surrounded by her elder sisters, her only brother, and Mammusona (in white saree) , her Mom's maternal Grandma who raised all of them after her Mom's death just after her birth.. 

Those who have read my earlier posts on Milestones and Pits or on Facebook might be able to remember about Mammusona.. 

Saraswati Puja 2015 Clicking Parents with the Mobile that was my Bday Gift

It is very difficult to click a selfie on this mobile 

Baba having Khichuri on his own .. He could sit on a chair then.. and could have oral food.. Jan 23, 2015.. one of the last sitting pics that I have of him.. Baba's last Saraswati Pujo

Ma clicked this pic on the mobile she and Baba gifted me on my Birthday this year.. Ma's first click on a Mobile 

Dear Baba.. You deserve a peaceful and painless rest.. <3 comment-3--="" nbsp="">

Baba left us within 2 days of my originally making this blog post! I was happy and relaxed that evening as I was about to be with him for quite some time the next day when we would take him to Belle Vue for a customary checkup. Neither did I know that the mobile with which I clicked these was my last birthday gift from Baba. 

Srijato-r Andhokaar Lekhaguchho

Lokkhi Pujo and Diwali 2014 in Pics